Happy Friday, friends!
Before I get to the goods, I wanted to bring up the subject of an amazing post from Hangry Pants Heather. She is a bride-to-be and has covered a lot of great topics over these past few months of wedding planning, but today’s subject, the name change issue, particularly resonated with me. I ended up writing more in the comments section than I ever knew I had to say, and I thought I would re-post it here and ask for you thoughts as well, because I am truly curious about the differing opinions.
Here’s the gist of what I said (because I love bullet points):
- I have yet to make the legal change (mainly for business and busyness reasons) but eventually will because I want my kids to have the same last name as me.
- When I do make the change, I will keep all my names. Jennifer Lynn Korducki Krenn.
- I will go by Jenn Krenn – and yes, I do enjoy the fact that it rhymes!
- That said, I really enjoy being Jenn Korducki professionally. Having started a business with that name, it has proven very difficult for me to let it go. Plus, it’s unique and has an animal in it. 😉
- My mom is Joyce Buss. She never changed her name because she was proud of her CPA certification and I also happen to believe a bit of a feminist, whether she admits it or not.
- Growing up, this wasn’t much of an issue, except when kids would wonder why we had different last names if my parents were still married.
So in the end, I am going to change my name, but keep my name at the same time. And I think there is also no reason why I can’t still be “Jenn Korducki” professionally, at least for right now.
I talked further with my mom about this after I posted it and she wanted to add another, very important reason to her list. When she got married to my dad, her own father had passed away a few years prior. As the middle child in a family of three girls, another major reason she kept his last name was to honor him and keep his legacy alive through her, since as a family of Buss women, they would not be passing it on to their children.
All that said, what I also didn’t convey properly in my comment on Heather’s blog is that I do genuinely want to be connected to Bobby and his last name! My internal dilemma really has nothing to do with this aspect of the issue – it has never even been a question that I would, in some way, incorporate “Krenn” into my new identity. My biggest identity question truly stems from a professional standpoint, and I believe I have come up with a compromise that works.
So tell me, what do you think about changing your name after you are married? I am really glad that Heather addressed it and would love to hear what my own readers have to say!
***
Recently, Bobby and I traveled down Abby Road to get to one delicious dinner.
For Christmas, one of my best gal pals gave us a Groupon to Barclay’s Wine. We were so excited to use it and were able to snag six amazing wines as a result. Two of them were from Abby Road and this cabernet sauvignon was amazing.
Just looking at the description on the website makes you want to open a bottle:
Cabernet is one of the most popular grapes and Abby Road’s inaugural work with the grape is stunning. A blend of 75% Cabernet Sauvignon with 9% Sangiovese, 8% Syrah & 8% Cabernet Franc balance out this superb wine. A deep dark color introduces you to the wine and makes you excited for the first sip. Dark cherry and black currant notes mesh with a little scent of cedar on the nose, which adds to the anticipation. A full and smooth mouthfeel is complemented by blueberry and leather notes. The fruit lingers balanced by a subtle hint of coffee and balanced tannins on the finish. Luscious Washington Cab at its finest.
Served in a fittingly French stemless wine glass. We received these from one of my bridesmaids as part of our wedding gift and use them all of the time now!
What better way to serve wine than with pasta?
We combined regular tomato sauce with a bag of frozen vegetables and plenty of spinach, freshly chopped mushrooms and shrimp to create the topping for our whole wheat curly cue pasta.
We both agreed that this combination was one of our best. And we’ve made a lot of pasta! There are definitely plans to travel down Abby Road again in the near future. 😉
What are your plans for the weekend?
I’m hanging out with a good friend on Saturday, and my Sunday is wide open (yay)!
Looking forward to hearing your thoughts on Heather’s question, too.
Abrazos,
I think this is definitely a very personal decision and that everyone must do whats right for them. Different things, work for different people. For me, I really felt that getting married meant becoming one, becoming closer and a big part of that for me…was changing my last name. I don’t look down upon those who don’t change their last name or those who keep their full name but add on (a la Mrs. Bender), again…I think like so many things in life- you just have to do what you think is best/right.
I wish I enjoyed wine! Wine & pasta do seem to go together. My Mom & I took an Italian cooking class last night and they served very fancy white and red wines (obviously I didn’ t partake because I do not like them & am preggers ;)).
Josh and I have a date night planned for the weekend. Otherwise?? Hopefully buying baby furniture
I couldn’t agree more, Erica. There is no “right or wrong” here and it’s truly interesting to hear everyone’s perspectives! I can certainly appreciate the “becoming one” that you are talking about as well. I know I certainly felt that way walking down the aisle!
Love that you took an Italian cooking class, by the way. That sounds amazing!
“When I do make the change, I will keep all my names. Jennifer Lynn Korducki Krenn. I will go by Jenn Krenn – and yes, I do enjoy the fact that it rhymes! That said, I really enjoy being Jenn Korducki professionally. Having started a business with that name, it has proven very difficult for me to let it go.”
I did the exact same thing. I even moved my last name, so now I have 2 middle names (the lady at the Social Security office was like “are you sure? Are you positive? If you want to change it, you’ll have to go to court to get it done and pay”…I was like “thanks for the concern, but I’m good.”)
This is exactly what I am thinking of doing – two middle names. Sounds like you had an interesting experience with the whole process! Thank you for sharing it.
I did the same thing! I’ve 3 middle names now, insane! Haha, no seriously I’m so glad I kept my maiden name in there. Generations of women in my family have done it the same way, and I think it’s a great idea. I sign my name with my middle (maiden) initial and I think I will always do that.
Love it! I think family tradition is great and how cool that it has been passed down through generations in your case! Signing with your maiden initial is awesome, too. Thanks for sharing, Lauren!
My mother took my father’s last name, but kept her maiden name professionally. This is mostly because they are both doctors and having two “Dr. Bradys” in the house was confusing. But it has never been an issue – I think it’s a great solution!
That’s awesome, Clare! Two Dr. Bradys definitely could get confusing. 🙂
Hmm, interesting topic. Like your mom, I don’t have any brothers to carry on our family name, and my dad didn’t have any brothers. My sister is already married and changed her name, so I’m literally the last Simonson! I’ve gone back and forth already, and I don’t really want to change my name, plus I want my kids to have MY last name, too…we’ll see how that one flies. 😉
I like your attitude! 🙂 One of my best friends growing up had her mom’s last name. I always thought it was so cool.
I love that you talked about this topic! Since I’m getting married in a few months, I have been thinking about this a lot as well. Like your mom, I am one of three girls in my family with no brothers so my family last name (Mayberry) will not be carried on by anyone else aside from my sisters, and since I don’t have any cousins on that side, it’s just us. It’s been difficult to adjust to the idea of chancing my name, and I think I finally settled on taking my future hubby’s last name as well as keeping mine. Using my maiden name professionally and his for family and social situations.
It was definitely something I debated during the entire wedding planning process, too! Sounds like you have come to a similar decision. Thank you for sharing, Madison! (Oh and by the way, your FIRST name is one of my very favorites.) 🙂
I think it is really interesting as a topic beyond just what I choose to do. I have a brother, so the “name” will be passed on. Interestingly, my mom had no brothers so her last name was “lost,” and that always made me feel a little sad. My friend did just what you are going to do and what I’m leaning toward. For me, I could care less what people call me, it’s just about keeping that part of me.
I agree – it definitely doesn’t matter what people decide to refer to me as – it’s all about holding on to what I’ve known for almost 24 years! Thank you for such an awesome discussion.
I just couldn’t let go of my maiden name so I axed my middle name and made the maiden the middle. Then it’s still on all of my documentation and I’m still attached to it. When you add the professional equation to the mix, I think it totally makes sense to use your maiden – at the end of the day, it’s going to be about what you’re most comfortable with! The rhyming is too good to pass up though…;)
Excellent! Love hearing from someone close to home on this subject. 😉 I agree that it is all about comfort…and that the rhyme is a bonus!
I have absolutely zero interest in changing my name. I’m too attached to the Korducki moniker, and it’s become something of a trademark both personally and (definitely) professionally. Kidswise, I like what my Aunt Jane did: kept her maiden name, and gave it to both of her kids as a middle name. Done deal! That said, I can also appreciate why people would want to take on a partner’s name–or, for the two to adopt a new hyphenated name together.
Very pleased to hear this from the Korducki perspective. That’s really interesting about the kids middle name, too. Thanks, Kelli!
I always think it’s so interesting to hear someone’s philosophy behind changing, not changing or how they chose to change their name. I don’t think there are any right or wrong options. Whatever is right for the individual is the right thing to do.
I completely agree, Katie! It seems to me that a lot of it is based on what we grew up seeing around us. There is definitely no right or wrong and it’s fun to hear everyone’s perspective!
As I have gone through the name change on the other side after divorce, I have a hard time about the name change again, if I do remarry. I think your decision is exactly what I would do too. Keep my name professionally but use my TBD-husband’s last name as well (maybe for me, just not legally). I also love what your mom had to say about your grandfather and carrying on the name. All very good and important things!
Thank you so much for sharing from your perspective. There truly is so much that goes into this decision, and you’re right that everyone has to make the right one for them!
i am doing the exact same thing with my name! i have some papers published under my maiden name, so professionally, it won’t make sense to get rid of it, but i want to have the same last name as my husband and our children some day.
Glad to hear that someone else is feeling the same way! I feel as though this is definitely an option that has become more popular in recent years.
Very interesting commentary on the name change–something to keep in mind for the future!
Love that pasta shape–any idea what it’s called?
Haha – I couldn’t remember the name while writing the post…hence “curly cue.” 🙂 But I just found the bag and it’s actually called “gobbetti,” which I had never heard of before. It’s whole wheat and the brand is bionaturae. I found it at Whole Foods! Here’s a link to their site: http://www.bionaturae.com/organic-pasta.html
[…] you to all who contributed to the very lively discussion on name change. I loved hearing everyone’s perspectives and since there is no right or wrong answer, was […]
I’m getting married in October, and although growing up I always said that I wouldn’t change my name I actually will be come this fall.
Luckily for my husband-to-be, my brother married a Jessica and we now have the same name. Since she changed her name we’ve had our bank deposits, doctors records, prescriptions, and even employment applications get mixed up. Because of this I will be changing my last name…or moving far, far away.
However, I still maintain that it’s an outdated practice. But that’s just my personal opinion.
[…] New Name April 1, 2011 tags: Jennifer Krennducki, Name Change by Jenn (eating bender) The name change debate has been […]