Follow Every Rainbow, Find Your Dreams

Written by on in Tidbits and Treats

The “hills” were alive this week. Not with The Sound of Music, but with tears, laughter, love and memories of Rita Frances, my beautiful, warm and strong grandmother.

I took the week off from blogging, work and other “normal” responsibilities to focus solely on my family and helping in any way I could with the arrangements that needed to be made. I went up to Milwaukee on Tuesday and remained there through the funeral on Friday morning. It was heart wrenching, heartwarming, devastating, joyful and, as you can see, quite a roller coaster of emotions all week long. I’ve realized that this woman meant SO much to so many people. As the mother of 10 children, 19.75 grandchildren (my newest cousin is due November 15) and a beloved wife of almost 60 years, she has touched the lives of many, many people, and the love we have for her was present all week long.

I have never felt closer to my family than I do now. Grandma Rita brought all of us together. Of course, we wish it was better circumstances. We wish we were all together now, celebrating her recovery from the cancer that spread so quickly and took her from us too soon and too unexpectedly. But she will always be remembered and is now in a wonderful place, watching over us all. She is no longer in pain.

Words can’t express the tears of gratefulness that I have shed reading all of your comments, emails, and letters of support. This community has given me so much and I am so thankful that I am a part of it. So thankful – I will not forget the kindness you have shown me!

I will be back to blogging soon. Life will never be the same, but we will carry with us our memories of grandma as we get back to what is considered “normal” in our everyday lives. But for now, I wanted to share a poem I wrote and read aloud at my grandma’s vigil, as well as some pictures that encompass her beauty, her grace and her warmth. I hope you enjoy them.

Letters

I’ll never forget the way your voice

Could put my mind at ease.

The stories you told sent my mind wandering

Like an autumn leaf in the breeze.


It’s quieter now that you are gone

A little colder, too.

But I don’t mind because these things

Will always remind me of you.


I’ll never forget the games we played

Rounds of Dominoes in your kitchen.

The stories you told about our family

The enthusiasm that kept my attention.


Your letters are safely packed away

Too often left unanswered.

But I promise to send my replies to you now

In my dreams. In my heart.

Where you’ll always be remembered.

So in love

The above is a picture of my grandma and grandpa (Busia and Dzia Dzia!) on their wedding day in 1950. Can you see the love emanating from this picture? It makes me smile.

Here they are cutting the wedding cake in 1950…

cutting the cakeAnd here they are, 55 years later 🙂 Cutting the cake at their anniversary party in 2005.

6-26-05

Last but not least, I couldn’t resist a picture of the early years of Papa Bender. He’s on the far right – what a cutie! Have I told you he’s the oldest of the 10? He also gave the eulogy at my grandma’s funeral. I could not have been prouder of him at that moment. The whole family stood behind him, holding hands and nodding in agreement as he spoke of his mother with eloquence and pure heart. After the service, people told him it was one of the best speeches they had ever heard. I love you, Dad!

The growing family 2

I’m pretty sure he was the cutest little kid ever! Actually, my little brother looks a lot like him, and I look like my mom. I just love looking at pictures like this and going back in time to imagine what life was like. It’s amazing to imagine our parents living as we did when we were young.

This entire experience has inspired me to put pen to paper – and finger to keyboard – and write a story. I don’t know how long it will be or how it will turn out, but my grandmother’s story needs to be told some way, somehow. I am excited about this new adventure and have been furiously typing my thoughts all week long. I want to create something memorable for my family. No, scratch that. I WILL create something 🙂 Grandma Rita was known for writing letters and being a deeply reflective, thoughtful woman. I hope that when I grow up, I can be just like her.

If you’re still with me, thank you. This blog is an outlet for my life, my words and my thoughts, and I appreciate you taking the time to read my musings. I love you all – and as I said recently, make sure you tell your family how much you love them today. You can never say it too often. I promise.

Back soon.

Abrazos,

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84 Comments

  3. This was such a beautiful post. And Jenn, you already are thoughtful and reflective! I’m sure your grandmother was very proud of you! I have no doubt that you’ll create something really special for your grandmother. And in fact, this post and your last post are just two examples that you have already done just that!

  4. Wow Jenn. You really have a way with words. You are such a wonderful writer, and I am so happy you shared your Grandmother with us. I loved seeing the pictures as well. So many hugs to you, and so excited for your family project!

    I love you Bender!!!!

  5. Thank you for this post…my grandmas funeral is still so fresh in my mind, being in July…it was one of the hardest experiences of my life – having to see my grandfather look so alone, lonely and lost 🙁 But we owed it to my grandma to celebrate her life – which we did…and have been doing.
    I hope you continue to write and celebrate your grandmother’s life 🙂
    <3

    • jocelyneatsfresh ~ Thanks, lovely. I’m sorry for your loss. You’re right – we do owe it to our grams to celebrate their lives. Grandmothers are so special. Thanks for sharing your story with me.

  7. This is so beautiful and moving. I truly cannot properly express my sentiments, but you know how I feel and that I’m here for you, always.

  8. Great post. Thanks for sharing these memories, and the fantastic pictures. I hope Nick and my story of love is similar to your grandparent’s 🙂 They look so in love, and happy.

  9. Thoughts are definitely with you, Jenn. I can’t help but admire the fact that you have spun your personal tragedy into something as beautiful as your poem, and continue to do so in writing your grandmother’s story. Congratulations, seriously. I’m glad you have an outlet during this difficult time! Much love to you.

  10. Jenn,

    That was a wonderful poem. I’m so glad you got to spend time with your family, even under those circumstances. It’s going to be hard I’m sure but I can’t wait to hear that story; I’m always here for you sweetie.

  12. Jenn,
    I don’t know how else to say this but AMAZING. Your grandma was beautiful, and so are your heartfelt words. This post and the poem you wrote are so beautiful–it’s wonderful that you’ve decided to carry on your grandma’s legacy. You’ve certainly got some readers of her story when you finish!

    Sending love, my thoughts and “hugs” your way 🙂

  13. Beautiful words for your incredible grandma. I’m so sorry for your loss but am glad to hear that this sad event brought your family closer together than ever. Love to you!

  14. Jenn,
    I don’t know how else to say this but AMAZING. Your grandma was gorgeous. This post and the poem you wrote are so beautiful–it’s wonderful that you’ve decided to carry on your grandma’s legacy. You’ve certainly got some readers of her story when you finish!

    Sending love, my thoughts and “hugs” your way 🙂

  15. Jenn, this is a beautiful post. It honestly made me tear up. Your grandma sounds like a wonderful woman! There’s no doubt in my mind she’s proud of you and all of your accomplishments in life. She may be gone but she’s not far 🙂

  16. Amazing poem and I love the photographs. When I looked at the first one (and hadn’t read what you wrote yet) I felt the same way, I can SEE the love between them! How beautiful.

    One of my favorite quotes is by Winston Churchill, who said:

    “The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty.”

    It seems like you’ve found opportunity in your loss, to get closer with your family, to honor your grandmother’s life and to let your creativity flow out. Your strength shines through this experience.

    Thanks for sharing this with us Jenn.

  17. Jenn:

    I didn’t know your grandmother but your poem had me shedding a tear or two.

    It’s clear that she was a wonderful woman! And all these wonderful tributes are the legacy of a life well-lived. We should all be so lucky.

    *hug*

    Karen 🙂

  19. You are such a beautiful and talented writer, Jenn. I’m glad you’re recognizing and utilizing it as a therapeutic outlet and, so admirably, a capstone. It’s really a testament to your strength. It sounds like you are very like your grandma on the writing front 🙂

    All my love chica,

    S

  22. Jenn,

    I have tears streaming down my face after reading this post. You have a way with words and I simply loved the poem that you wrote to read aloud at your grandmother’s service.

    Thanks for sharing the photos of your grandmother and your dad- he was a cutie. I LOVE old photos. I have some saved of my parents and grandparents when they were growing up and when they first started dating. I just love them.

    • Brittany ~ Thank you so much. I am sorry to bring tears to your eyes but flattered that the post touched you that way 🙂 I love old photos, too! The ones of my parents when they were young make me so happy.

  26. Jenn, this is such a beautiful post. It’s wonderful that you have such amazing memories of your grandmother. I’m so sorry for your loss.

  30. This was a gorgeous post, Jenn – one that I can imagine was emotional to right. Sounds like you have a wonderful/beautiful family (a lot of what you wrote about kids/grandkids/etc sounds exactly like my family, so I can relate)

    I’m glad you have such wonderful memories- and you gave a beautiful tribute- your Grandma is in my thoughts and prayers.

  31. Jenn, you already know what I wanna say. I’m not original, but just wanted to keep telling you you’re in my thoughts. Take your time and come back to our world at your own pace. 🙂 You’ll be missed but we love you!!! Never forget that!!

  32. what a touching poem! love it, and how amazing is your ability to make sure her story lives on. glad you were able to spend so much time with loved ones during this difficult time.

  33. jenn, this is such a beautiful and thoughtful post. i am so sorry for your loss and I am praying for you and your family. The pictures of grandma Rita are beautiful and show sounded like such a wonderful and strong woman. Take all the time you need and you know we are here for you. If you are in need of pancakes soon, just text me 🙂

    xoxo always
    lo

  34. what a beautiful poem and tribute to your grandmother. I think it’s awesome that you want to write her story 🙂

  36. Oh, Jenn. My heart is with you. I love that picture of your grandparents cutting their cake.

  40. Oh Jenn, I’m so sorry to just now be catching up, but I want to send my deepest love to you and your family. Your poem is beautiful, I can’t imagine a more genuine expression of love to your grandmother.

    It is hard when a death brings a family together, but in a strange way it can be a blessing as well to reconnect.

  42. I think it’s great that you want to document your grandma’s story to remember her. Every one of us could write a great story about our lives, even if we don’t realize just how interesting it is. I look forward to hearing more about it 🙂

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